As a parent, you may have heard those dreaded words: “I want to quit.” It’s a phrase that strikes fear in the heart of any parent, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed when faced with your child’s resistance to something they’ve committed to.
But here’s a thought: quitting is a habit that often starts young. And if parents don’t have the right tools to handle that resistance, it’s all too easy to give in and say, “Alright, you can stay home.”
In this post, we’ll take a look at how to reframe the “I want to quit” conversation and provide some strategies for parents to help their children develop resilience.
Feel free to share this with any parents who might be struggling—sometimes, a simple change in perspective is all it takes to steer things in the right direction.
“My child wants to quit.”
Let’s be clear: children don’t quit things, parents do.
When a child says they want to quit, it’s often a way of testing boundaries, seeking reassurance, or avoiding discomfort.
It’s also a signal that the responsibility of decision-making has been handed over to the parent.
We see these situations often, and there are some common threads we can all recognise:
- The car journey home becomes a place to share disappointment in performance.
After training, some parents may vent their frustrations, making the journey home feel like a debrief of everything that went wrong. This can create an unhealthy association with the activity and contribute to the desire to quit. - Conversations in front of kids about disagreeing with coaches.
When children overhear parents criticising coaches or instructors, it can erode trust and undermine the child’s confidence in their mentors. - Kids catch parents on a “lazy day” and get to skip practice.
It’s easy to give in on days when you’re tired or busy, but children are quick to pick up on this and may start thinking it’s okay to skip when they’re not in the mood. - Kids are allowed to quit commitments with no consequences.
If quitting becomes an option without any accountability, children might start applying this habit to other areas of life, setting a pattern that will be hard to break later on.
Questions to Ask Yourself:
As a parent, it’s important to reflect on the bigger picture. Here are some questions that can help you evaluate the situation:
- Would I let my child quit education?
Of course not. Education is a commitment that’s crucial to their future. So why should extracurricular activities, be treated any differently? - Would I let them eat junk food all day just because they want to?
Sometimes, the best things in life require discipline. It’s not always fun, but it’s necessary for their health and well-being. Similarly, consistency in their extracurricular commitments teaches discipline and resilience. - What habits am I teaching about overcoming obstacles?
Resilience isn’t built in easy times—it’s built when they face challenges, push through them, and come out stronger on the other side.
Here’s the Truth:
Someday, you’ll be the “bad guy.” There will be days when they hate going to training, when they don’t want to show up, and when they beg to quit. But here’s the thing: someday, they will thank you.
30 years from now, your child will look back and say, “I understand why you did that, and I’m better because of it.” They’ll appreciate the lessons you taught them about resilience, commitment, and the power of sticking with something through tough times.
Stay Strong, Parents. It. Will. Be. Worth. It. 💪
Quitting is a habit. But with your support and guidance, your child can learn to overcome challenges and become someone who doesn’t give up when things get tough. It’s not always easy, but the rewards—both now and in the future—are immeasurable.
So, parents, stand firm. Be the strength your child needs to push through the tough moments. It will pay off in ways you can’t even imagine right now.
